Language classes

I have been attempting to teach my pet cat language. She's a little thick, but she's catching on.
Fur instance, today, I taught my pet ...

NAanGah, which means in my pet's language: About f**king time, neutered slave.

She picked right up on it, so I have hope for her learing the true, pure cat language.

Bird!

Yesterday, I almost caught a bird! I tagged it with a paw, but he got away.
But not today! Today, I got em! MMMuuuurrrow.

I brought him in to show my pet, after all it is my responsibility to teach her how to hunt. But she wanted to share, and that just wasn't on! They had to pry my jaws open to get it away from me. Two on one, no fair!

But now I got the taste -- and I got the moves -- its only time before I get my first bird snack!

I am the mighty hunter, Cat, bow before me!

Toys!

Box! *hide, jump, slink*
OOOOooo Paper! *jump, bite, bat*
Box! *hide* Paper! *bat* Box -- paper -- box!paper!
Boxpaperboxpaperboxpap--
OOOOooo Toothpick! *bat!, Smack! bite!*
*rrrriiiiiipppppp*
OOoooo TUNNNNNNNAAAAA!

Pets!

My pets have unknown pets over ... again!

*hide!*

I must hide! But they are everywhere... I can't get to my sand box!

*hide!*

I know.... I'll hide under the blankets. They'll never find me there!

So Sneeky!

They will never find me here! I can hear them calling me, but I don't come. Make them think I've run away! Then I'll get milk when then see me 'come back'.
I'm so sneeky!